I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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