I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
3pm strippers are depressing
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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