Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
