This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
