yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
