I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
