She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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