i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
A+ Viking dick
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
