He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
