I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
