just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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