Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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