Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
