Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
