i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
