i love accidental penises.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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