I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
