So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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