i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
