do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
