I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
