she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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