At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
