your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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