I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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