i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
