I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
