Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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