just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
