I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
