his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
