You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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