after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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