So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
