you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
