i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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