how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
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