Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
