You smell like stripper and shame
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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