so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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