I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
