i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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