Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
