The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
