Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
