I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
