We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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