it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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