This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
