i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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