Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
