drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
